"Wow, I see you got some colour back!"

Ok. I've been slack keeping up to date here, I know. But...at least I have got some colour back! That's the first thing anyone says when seeing me, since starting dialysis.

Indeed, I am well! I know my last posting smacked of self-pity and depression - not really me - but I was being human I guess. This dialysis thingy is no more than a bloody nuisance and inconvenience...really, I mean it's not sore, it's not unpleasant and it's not difficult. In fact, it's not so bad! Sure, I would rather not be needing it...but it is by no means the big life-ruining monster I expected.

I believe that one of my saving graces is that I have retained urinary functions - I can still shed excess fluids naturally. Many kidney failure patients lose this function and are then barely allowed to drink. Not only that, they also have to endure more severe dialysis regimes to get these fluids out artificially. So, because I can...well, wee...I do not need heavy dialysis. I anticipated starting on four bags a day, I am getting away with two per day, and staying 'dry' overnight. In my case then, dialysis serves primarily to clear toxins and regulate minerals etc. which is normally the secondary function, after water removal.

So, every morning I get up, put a bag in a basin of hot water, make a cuppa cappuccino and sterilise hands and equipment. I then sit and read as a fresh bag of dialysis fluid gravity feeds from the raised, warmed-up bag into my 'space' (peritoneum), via my tube. I take two litres in about 15 minutes then cap off, and I'm good to go for six hours. Around mid-day then, and usually in the office, I start by draining the fluid from me, into a drain bag, before refilling again from a new bag. This takes about 35 minutes. Then at about 6pm every night, I drain that lot, cap off, and stay empty for the night. That is the process each day, no days off.

As 'ball and chainy' as it sounds, there are permitted flexibilities, which are at the very least, conducive to the working man such as myself. The only real rules are that I must dialise for 12 hours a day, starting any time, and using two bags. No bag should be used less than two hours, or much more than about nine hours. So, things such as social events, meetings, travel can all be planned around. Yes, I can even skip a bag without detriment, provided it is circumstantial, not by choice and does not become a habitual short-cut.

We are all pretty much used to it now. Greg was freaked by the tube hanging out my belly and Kate loves looking at my 'sore'. And it works. I felt substantially better a week after starting dialysis, than I had the week before. I still get tired and out of breath quite easily, but I now have the will and ability to do the things I need or want to do, with a new energy. The physical sickly-feeling has gone, I no longer taste the toxins, or have tingly itchy spells.

Yup, it's crappy needing dialysis...but its a blessing to have if you need it! I think I am back in me now and that's why I've got my colour back.