Housten...we have a problem...

The story for this next post began last Friday but I have been unable to sit and find the words. Most will know by now that the transplant was called off at the 11th hour on Friday morning; this being one day prior to admission and four prior to op date. I received a call from the renal head himself, Prof. Assounga, who informed me about issues with the last cross-matching they did that very week.
Put simply, having had Jo's kidney in my body for ten years, essentially a foreign organ, I have built up anti-bodies against her tissue type. Being an identical twin, Lee has the same tissue type as Jo and her donated kidney would therefore be attacked by these antibodies, basically on the theatre table. It would be a struggle to hang onto the kidney from the start and they have deemed it unviable to proceed with Lee as my donor.

I will still get to have a transplant, but I now find myself in the position of having to go outside of the immediate family. It's not easy. And I say that, even in spite of the offers already recieved from such people. Again I have been greatly moved by those guys and girls who have already put up their hands, each one an angel and a blessing. I know a solution exists, there remains hope...but it's just not easy.In a society that hesitates to lend/borrow CD's; how do you get a kidney? How do you ask...how do you receive?

Last Friday my life was shattered. Weeks of frustrating preparation, sideshows and admin protocol all threatening the transplant date. Lee and I were ready, physically and in our heads. I already had images of being well again, canoeing, cycling, playing cricket with the boys, swimming in the sea...all shelved now. While one could forgive Lee for feeling relieved, she too was shattered and is bitterly disappointed in not being able to help.

Life goes on, and a greater plan exists. I beleive that. Nobody gets to mourn or wallow in pity over this. I am chilled now, accepting, and dare I say...in a place of calm surrender. I have handed this whole issue to a higher order now and only await an invite from Him, as to where, wherefrom and when I get my life back.